N: Did you buy my shoes?


H: No, I didn't.


N: Oh. What happened?


H: It was devastating. Everything turned out like I had planned. So I was there at 9 in the morning, like really early, and there was no one there and the parking lot was completely empty, and I could just get out of the car, jump into the store and go back because I had things to do, and so I went into the store. There were like 3 gazillion people in the store.


N: How the fuck did they get there?? A bus hidden somewhere or a boeing jet?


H: I don’t know. Blimping? And then it turned out that the special offer, all of the special offers was only available in size 37.


N: That’s not our size.


H: And I was supposed to buy 4 pairs! Like our 2 and 2 for other people, all of them were size 40! So I already had in mind If I only find at least one which is mine…


N: And then a second pair for me because I am the nicest of the other 3!


H: I don't wanna say that not because I never know whether people read it or not. But you would have been the most deserving. But all of us needed 40, so there was nothing to do. So I bought shoes for my son in 47 and shoes for my husband in 47. But in different stores, and then I went home.


N: Okay, so we don't have winter shoes now and it’s your fault.


H: We don't but I sent you an email like 10 min ago. Because I found them at some other store for basically twice the price but that is still within the range you were willing to pay if I found them in black.


N: I’m just checking my email - oh there they are and they are indeed black. With zebra fur.


H: And I like that. I'm tempted I mean what's wrong with Zebra?


N: Nothing is wrong with zebra. Everything is perfect with zebra and they have this fur inside?


H: Yes, but for me that would be the game changer, because I need shoes with fur inside, because i'm old and and hormonal, and i'm always cold, and I have very cold feet, and then I need to cry so I need this fur inside, not outside. Not like the ugly Uggs. So let me see, because I don't know how many pairs they still have.


N: Oh, I bought them just now already.


H: You bought them already??


N: Yes, so please go ahead and buy your pair now!


H: You didn't do the research?


N: I never do research. I just act. I’m not compulsive obsessive, I’m compulsive active.


H: But you need to do the research! Because apparently they run really small and you have to buy them one or even 2 sizes larger. So you should by 41 and I maybe even 42 because of the double socks I will be wearing. May I introduce you to the concept of a podcast, it is when people talk, not when people do things on their phones. And mostly both people talk and while it is nice that only I talk I don’t know what you are doing there.


N: Lalala I buy shoes! I just cancelled the order and placed a new one for 41, are you happy now? Now go buy your pair in 42 but did you do the research? They are more expensive than in 41. You didn't do your research because in 42 they are incredibly expensive.


H: Yeah, but probably I can go with 41 as well. Anyway, do we go and scream in front of the church this year?


N: I think so? We have all the reasons. It’s a good year for screaming, it has been the worst year for me in a long time.

(Teil 2 erscheint später hier.)