H: You’ve got very bad hair today, what happened there?

N: I got wet, there was rain - no snow. It was snow, and so when I came home my hair was dripping, and I put a what is it called in it?

H: A scratchy scratch.

N: A Me see scrolling G scratch, c.

H:I feel very special because I know a word that the INTELLIGENCE just doesn’t know.

N: Anyway, I put a rubber band in my hair.

H: Elegantly solved!

N: And now I just took it out again. and so my hair is sticking up, and I think I should go to the hairdresser’s soon. But I don’t dare. I’m not sure how expensive it will be, so I’m not sure if I can afford it.

H: What happened??

N: Inflation and Putin happened, they use hot water and electricity, it will probably cost millions!

H: And we got a letter again from the gas provider, announcing that I think from February on we will pay another €100 or something more per month. So it’s next to 3 times the amount which it was before.

N: And you don’t use the heating much, do you?

H: Well, now we do actually because it gets really cold, and the problem with our apartment is that we don't have neighbors - We only have upstairs neighbors, and so there is nothing around us where there's yeah warmth.

N: Even I had to put on the heating - in the bedroom! For the first time ever in my life. I had to find it first and then the wheelie thing was stuck and I had to open it with a tool. But it was necessary because, you know, usually I have the window open all the time but this is too cold now, so the window was closed during the night and when I got up in the morning the window was wet on the inside, and dripping. So I checked the temperature and it was 9 degrees.

H: Ugh!!

N: I don’t mind, you know, I sleep below 3 blankets like in a little nest, that’s all fine. But I don’t want to ruin the apartment, so I think I need to turn on the heating now.

H: And you want to keep your clothes!

N: Oh I don’t mind about them, I can always get new ones from you.

H: No, you can’t, I gained 2 kilos!

N: You have the flu? How can you possibly gain weight with the flu?

H: I think I gained 5 kilos. I lost 3 again.

N: So is there some sort of Aufforderung hidden there in this sentence? Like “give me my things back!”?

H: Oh, no, I only wanted to point into the direction that things are going, that for the next couple of months I will probably not get rid of clothes because, look, those that I shrunk out of. I grow back into.

N: That's not good for me. I think you should pursue a healthier lifestyle.

H: But I did today, I ate 2 kilos of oranges and one kilo of tangerines and it made my stomach hurt!

N: Dosis venenum facit or something like this, we say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, not 2 kilos of oranges keep the doctor away.

H: But I wanted to eat that because I was interested in eating citrus fruit.

N: Are you pregnant? Oh no, you did the test already, the triple test for Covid, flu and pregnancy.

H: I am fit again but I have extremely low blood pressure. I cannot get out of bed in the morning. It's so painful and it takes me hours to physically arrive at a point where I think Okay, i'm awake. And, you know, I switched intoa habit that I did not switch into ion 2 and a half years of pandemic, that is, the first 2 - 3 hours every morning in workin my PJs.

N: That’s disgusting.

H: But I have a very early meeting tomorrow, so I have to take a shower at 8.

N: Interesting, anyway, is the cat there eating oranges too, or what do you have in the bowls behind you on the window sill - oh, and that’s the window to the conservatory, right?

(Teil 2 erscheint später hier)